By Diane Marie - April 2009
“Whatever I tell you in darkness,
That speak ye in light.”
Matthew 10:27
As leaders of a couple’s group, Cliff and Betty find themselves blessed in the midst of married couples who share their love for The Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. They come together as a group of 20 diverse people, enjoying a fellowship in which they share their joys and sorrows, extending their time and energy in love to their Brethren. But how did all this come about? It wasn’t an over night phenomenon.
Like many Christians, Cliff and Betty had attended a variety of churches during their walk with the Lord. They had previously served as Elders in a church that was legalistic and unsupportive, leaving them feeling burned out and stressed. That, however, did not daunt them from becoming involved with Joshua Springs Calvary Chapel when they moved to Yucca Valley, California.
“We joined a Couple’s Group and were later asked to host a different group’s meetings in our home,” Explained Betty.
“When the leaders of that group stepped down, we were asked to take over their leadership.”
Thus, they came to be the new co-leaders of a somewhat disorganized group by merging the group they were attending with the new group they were leading.
“My first thoughts were, “Do I need or want this stress again in my life?” Offered Cliff. “Because of the closed communication we’d experienced with leadership in our last church, I wondered if I was capable of just following orders from the Ministry Leaders and keeping my ideas and thoughts to myself.”
He and Betty soon found that the leadership of their new church was different from those they had previously attended. Joshua Springs held monthly CORE Leader meetings in which all leaders were allowed input.
“We have freedom here,” Cliff went on to say, “Pastor Jerel trusts those who lead the church’s ministries and we felt that immediately. There is a command of authority which is Biblically-based in place here and it’s followed in a scriptural way.”
Now that the freedom and encouragement they needed was no longer an issue, they quickly realized that there was a dilemma needing to be addressed within their group. There was a lack of response from the group’s members due to one group, having been together for a long time, separating themselves from the new group. At meetings, group A would sit together, chat amongst themselves while group B was left to sit “over there”. There was also a problem of the group’s leadership. Group A’s leaders seemed not to be interested in being leaders. The communication between the groups and the leaders diminished and the tension was thick. There was also the issue of one of the group members whose personality rubbed several others in a wrong way. This caused other members to begin to drop out of the group to join other groups; some shared the reason for their leaving with their new group.
“It was like having a ball and chain around my neck,” said Cliff. “For two years, no matter what we tried to do or how much we prayed, it seemed that nothing was working.”
Then Cliff suffered a heart attack.
Betty was overwhelmed. “I thought we should just throw in the towel,” she said, “I was so emotionally stressed by all that was happening that all I wanted to do was to just go to church and be done with it.”
Cliff’s thoughts were similar. “I really struggled with the group’s lack of response through all this,” he said, “I questioned whether or not I’d heard the Lord correctly when I had prayed for guidance about continuing with my leadership responsibility. I felt He had urged me to continue but I wondered if it was only what I wanted instead of what God wanted. Now, with my health issues, I thought more and more that it was only what I had wanted.”
So they prayed…again. Only this time they prayed about the specific concerns they had with Cliff’s health, the lack of coherence within their group, and they asked for discernment in God’s answer.
Cliff’s answer came in the form of another question, but this time it was through the Holy Spirit.
“The Lord asked me, ‘Do you love me?’” and I answered, ‘Yes Lord, I do.’” Then the Lord asked me, ‘Then what’s the question?’ I still had a nagging desire to quit the leadership but the Lord wanted me to press on.”
Betty’s stress and anxieties began to subside. She felt a peace as the Lord spoke to her heart.
“I knew that it was the Lord wanting us to continue,” She said, “And then the peace came and the questions went away, they were no longer an issue.”
There was an almost perceivable change in the group. Individuals who had not shared before were now participating in group discussions. They were asking questions, discussing their understanding of scripture. Get-togethers were joyful as brethren interacted with each other in a positive loving way.
“Something wonderful happened when we let God guide and lead us,” said Betty.
In a time of Cliff’s infirmities, God has shared with him His secrets; He has shown him a purpose and opened to him a view of true fellowship.
“Seeing the couples in the group grasping fellowship and moving more freely encourages me,” he said, “I feel more loving and long-suffering now. The Bible tells us to ‘Love the Lord Thy God with all our heart.’ If that was natural, He wouldn’t have to tell us to do it. People think God states the obvious, but He doesn’t. He states what He wants us to do to overcome our nature of fallen man. I’ve learned to be more merciful and flexible; to be more accepting of others”.
Trials produce strength, wisdom, and changes in those who pass through them. The heavenly Father puts the cup of trial into our hands, that we may have something sweet afterwards. Couples Group B bears a commendable testimony of how good God is. When we take Him at His word, our hearts are at peace.