By Pastor Jerel Hagerman - May 2008
It was Fall 2005. We were in stop-and-go traffic on Interstate 10 headed into the Los Angeles area. My wife, Cindy and I were having quality “car time.” We pastored a church of 2,000 people in Yucca Valley, California, so our lives were always busy. We were enjoying the opportunity to be together.
We both grew up in rural Kansas. We never had traffic jams there. Yucca Valley is located in the beautiful, mountainous, high-desert area above Palm Springs, California, right at the entrance of the spectacular Joshua Tree National Park. We didn’t have to face stop and go traffic there either.
But, here we were and I was getting frustrated with the snail’s pace of progress. We still had many miles to go. Cindy must have sensed my frustration because she turned to me and said, “Enjoy the ride. At least we are together and have time to talk.” She was right.
The date for our church’s women’s retreat was approaching. Cindy wanted ideas for a workshop she was to lead. “I want to teach on how to enjoy every phase of life,” she said. Enjoying every day and every phase of life was a practice she had exercised throughout her life.
She knew what she wanted to say in the workshop but wasn’t sure what scriptures to use or how to lay it out. So, for the next hour we talked and Cindy took notes. We shared memories of our lives together through the years. I suggested she use Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 as the base scripture, which says there is a time for everything. As we finished our discussion, Cindy wondered what the title of her teaching should be. Traffic was barely crawling and I made a comment about my frustration. Cindy shook her head, grinned and said, “Enjoy the Ride.”
“That’s it,” we both said in unison. “That’s the title.” And, “Enjoy the Ride” became Cindy’s most famous message that would touch thousands of lives and never be forgotten.
Here is Cindy’s message:
Enjoy the Ride
By Cindy Hagerman
How many of us in this room believe that God’s timing is perfect? Doubting or resenting God’s perfect timing can lead us to despair, rebellion, or even moving ahead of Him without His leading.
But, when we discover, accept and appreciate God’s perfect timing, then we will have peace in our lives and be able to enjoy the ride of life.
Turn with me to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.
“To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plan,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.”
The Lord has a perfect plan for every single one of us. We all go through different phases of life with its different cycles and its different seasons. Some phases are abundantly joyful and some are horribly painful. But, as it says in verse 11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
So, hang onto Jesus and enjoy the ride!
So often, people can’t wait until they get to the next phase or season instead of being content with whatever season they are in now.
When I came to know the Lord as my personal Savior, I was single, so I had lots of time. Now, being single has its challenges and its blessings. I used to drive sixty miles in every direction to be at a Bible study almost every night of the week. I was hungry for the Word of God. And after all, ladies, what better place to find a spouse? Ha!
In fact, I met Jerel at a small Bible study in my hometown of Larned, Kansas. One night a group of us decided to load up in my car, which was a burnt orange Gremlin, and drive sixty miles to another Bible study. While we were there, a bad storm came up fast and it turned into a blizzard. We couldn’t see the road. In fact, the wind was blowing so hard that when we stopped to let Jerel out, when he opened the door, it was like it was a sail and began to push us down the icy highway. Enjoy the ride!
We ended up spending the night at a farmhouse because we couldn’t make it home. That night I knew that Jerel Hagerman was the man for me.
Our wedding day was five months later. We had always planned to leave the reception early, but we realized you are only a bride and groom one time so we stayed and enjoyed every minute of it, and then, later on, we would enjoy the ride! Ha!
When we were newly married, we lived on the farm, the one that Jerel had been groomed his entire life to one day own and operate. It was his parent’s farm. It was a million dollar, debt free, wheat and cattle farm. We had lots of money, a nice big five-bedroom home and no kids! So, we were able to do a lot for our little fellowship and in the fellowship. Jerel would teach once in a while for our Pastor and it became very obvious that he had a calling upon his life. We had lots of fun times in that big house. One time, we had invited the whole fellowship over and it ended up snowing. So, being the fastidious person that I am, I was all worried about the house and everyone tracking in snow and mud and making a big ol’ mess. But, we ended up having a great time. We enjoyed the ride and then cleaning up the house.
Then, there came the time when the Lord called us into the ministry, to leave the farm and come out to California to a little place in the desert called Sky Valley Desert Retreat Center. Everyone thought we were crazy to leave his parent’s mission dollar farm and life of security. It was a very difficult time of life but we knew without a doubt that God was calling us to follow Him. So, we arrived at Bible College where we had no house and no money. We lived in a little fourteen-foot travel trailer (Jerel used to say we had traded rooms for feet). But, we would still invite people over for dinner and sit on the bed because we couldn’t have a bed and a table at the same time. So, we all ate in bed. Enjoy the ride!
From that fourteen-foot travel trailer we moved into a twenty-foot travel trailer where we had a ¾ bed and table but couldn’t use the bathroom. I was pregnant with our first son Israel, so at night I would pee in a mayonnaise jar. Jerel had to sleep on the outside of the bed so his feet could hang over the edge. Being six-feet, four-inches, the bed would hit him just below the knees. But, we were thankful. Enjoy the ride!
From there we got to baby sit a singlewide mobile home for some snowbirds from Minnesota. It was summertime and the temperature was 120 degrees. The mobile home did not have air conditioning, only a swamp cooler, so we aluminum-foiled every window to try and keep it a little cooler. Enjoy the ride!
From there, we moved into half of a dorm, with a family of four kids living in the other half. Another family with three kids lived in half of the dorm upstairs with a single gal in the other half. The dorm room had an open staircase to the upstairs and paper thin walls. We could whisper good night to each other and be heard! Ha! I cooked in an electric skillet and did dishes in a tiny bathroom sink. But still, we enjoyed the ride!
From there we moved to a two-room apartment. When we had Israel they added a room for him. We did lots of entertaining and had sweet times of fellowship and prayer. Enjoy the ride!
Then we moved into a mobile home that someone had given to the ministry. Only one problem – it was filthy and had cockroaches. Jerel’s mom came out to help with our new baby girl, Lydia. I’ll never forget how she scrubbed the floor with a toothbrush and made it look brand new. We had two kids in diapers and in those days we still used cloth diapers and diaper pails.
Then at eight months, Lydia broke her leg and was in a body cast. You can only imagine trying to put a diaper on her with this huge body cast. You couldn’t stand to be near her. We finally figured it out – saran wrap and feminine pads. I wrote in her baby book, “The youngest girl to ever wear pads.” Enjoy the ride!
Then we got to move into a nice apartment with three bedrooms and it even had a fireplace, which we enjoyed a little too much. Now, our third child was on the way. Enjoy the ride!
Then, the Lord moved us back to Kansas where we lived in a nice big parsonage right next to the church we had pastored for nine years. We were only twenty miles from our parents, which was a good thing because we had four kids in five years (three boys and one girl), and now there were two in diapers with two dirty diaper pails. Needless to say, I needed help.
Because I had little ones, I headed up the nursery for the church. As they grew older I taught Sunday School. I was always involved with them at whatever age they were. People often say, “I can’t wait for my kids to grow up” but I had determined early on that I was going to enjoy every stage of life with them. Things always seem so big at the time, but later on they’re nothing. There was a time when we could never have a meal without at least one spill and usually several.
Then, there was the time when Israel and Lydia cut each other’s hair, right in the front of their bangs. It was just before we were to take our family Christmas picture. It seemed so big at the time. Enjoy the ride!
Then, as they got older there was soccer, basketball, dance, little league, and piano lessons. I’ll never forget the time when, in one week all four kids were in the emergency room with various broken bones. We were hoping the hospital wouldn’t call Child Protective Services on us. Ha! It’s all part of growing up – broken bones and spilt milk. Enjoy the ride!
Later on, we taught a youth group. There were lots of trips, camp-out’s, lock-in’s, and a Vacation Bible School where we actually made a mud hut in our backyard. I taught Ladies’ Sunday School, made fancy birthday cakes, and always had something hot for the kids after school – cookies – biscuits – bread. All the kids would come over after church and play with our kids’ toys (and would often break them, I might add). And, because we lived next to the church they seemed to think our toys were their’s.
We were the neighborhood house to be at. One time, Jerel counted ten bikes in the front yard and twenty-two kids in the house. I babysat to help make ends meet and, needless to say, we never had any money. But, we did have lots of love and fun times.
I remember one time the kids were all sick. We lived twenty miles from the pharmacy. The pharmacy owner had to bring prescriptions to a nearby rest home, so he said he would bring ours and drop it off at our house. When he came by we were all making sugar cookies for the season. There was flour, frosting and die everywhere. We were a mess. The next time I went to his store he gave me a big bag full of every kind of cookie cutter. He was so touched by the love and the fun we were having that he blessed us with lots of cookie cutters for every season of the year so we could have lots more fun. Enjoy the ride!
Then we moved to Yucca Valley, where we still are today. But, things were different in Yucca Valley. There was no neighborhood, no grass and no friends. If God changes your location -- enjoy the ride!
The kids were in elementary school and Jr. High School. I practically lived in my car running from this sports field to the next, here and there for a practice, or a game, or whatever, always packing snacks, packing meals, everyone’s practice clothes, cleats and socks. Once in a while we would get to have Del Taco or McDonald’s ninety-nine cent meals, but no sodas – they cost too much. We were running here and there, but we were enjoying the ride!
Then, there were the teenage years. Just prepare yourself now, moms, because it is going to be like a great big roller coaster ride. Sometimes it’s fun and other times it’s very scary and all you can do is scream. At least, that’s the way it feels. But, not really. Just strap in and enjoy the ride!
There were many highs and many low, many fun times and many disappointments. But again, the things that seemed so big at the time, later on down the road, turned out to be just a bump in the road. During those years our church grew and once again things changed. Enjoy the ride!
Then there were the fun years of high school with the proms, homecomings, and sports. We felt like an ATM machine. So many people dread these years with all of the activity and the expense. But, get involved; reach out to other kids and people. Go to the games, go out to eat with team players and their parents. Have fun. Enjoy the ride!
Then there was our kids weddings. So many people work themselves into a frenzy and don’t enjoy this time. They just want it over with. Determine in your heart that you’re going to enjoy every part of the process. Because, you can count on it – no matter how perfect the plans, something will go wrong. At Lydia’s wedding the wrong song was played when she walked in, and it sounded awful. But, those things aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy the ride!
Grandkids - another phase of life – a great phase of life. Our grandkids were our reward for not killing our children. Ha! Such a joy and so much love. One of the reasons we bought a home right behind our church property was so the grandkids could come over after school. Enjoy the ride!
Then, there’s the empty nest. It’s a hard time for people. It’s different and it’s great, all at the same time. Enjoy the ride!
Menopause. As much as you can, ladies, enjoy the ride, because you’re either going to be hot or cold. Ha!
Have you ever noticed how all of women’s problems start with men? Mental illness, Menstrual cramps, Mental breakdown, Menopause, Guynecologist. And, when we have real trouble, it’s a Histerectomy. Just kidding!
Change is an inevitable part of life. When our circumstances are changing we can depend on the Lord for strength, guidance, and constancy. He never changes! We can trust Him to order all the events in our lives according to His purposes. He is faithful yesterday, today, and forever.
Look at Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 again. The first part of verse 11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
And, look at verses 12 and 13.
“I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor – it is the gift of God.”
Life is labor. It is not easy. It is not fair. It is work. But, it is the gift of God that all our children love the Lord. Our three older children live in Yucca Valley with two of them on our church staff. Our youngest son plays football for a university one hour away and will be a senior with an accounting major. And, all our school age grandchildren are in our Christian School. What a blessing to see them being taught and reared in the ways of the Lord. All the heartache – and there’s plenty – could never compare to where they are now in their walk with the Lord. So, enjoy the ride!
Romans 1:8 says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
Remember I told you that Jerel’s dad disowned us when we left the farm? Well, the Lord had given us a promise, that if we would be obedient to Him, Jerel would have the opportunity to lead his dad to the Lord. Ten years later Jerel’s dad became very ill with cancer and Jerel had the opportunity to pray with his dad, while on his death bed, and lead him to the Lord. And, one day, we’ll see him again and spend eternity with him in a perfect place where there is no pain or tears.
Turn with me to Revelation 21:1-5.
“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea.
Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.’
Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ And He said to me, ‘Write, for these words are true and faithful.’”
Life is but a vapor. Hang on to Jesus and ENJOY THE RIDE!